Jaipuri Pants. Made from stuff.

I ordered these for my wife.*

It's good to know they're made of....something.

I just hope I don't get the pair that's made from human skin. I hate sending shit back.

*not really.


  1. I think those are women's sizes.

    But hey, if that's what floats yer boat....

  2. Disclaimer: No lotion was put in the basket and nothing got the hose again in the making of these pants.

  3. It's like a ransom note made from scraps of [material]. What kind of catalogs do you read?

  4. Those are adorable, even if the [material] is questionable. However, WTH is a "pool trip"? Are y'all traveling state to state with your cues, earning your keep with an 8 ball and some [material]?

  5. I'm just wondering what the difference is between inseam and in seam. Or maybe there's a little something special for you in the seam...if your wife starts screaming after she tries them on you'll know!

  6. I think [material] is just a nice way of saying "clothing that was taken off of dead homeless people and then donated to us from the county morgue".

  7. Yeah, but if they're made from human skin you know they're completely unique. Like, on a genetic level.

  8. Valgal10:03 AM

    I hope they don't use leeches... or dogs and cats, your pants may not get along with themselves...

  9. I told my husband when I die...probably next week sometime from doing this P90X thing. I want him to have all my skin made into those god awful ugly hippy shit pants...with all my tattoos beautifully placed in perfect spots and to send them to YOU for free.
    yup Free...
    that way you and your wife can look utterly cool together.
    I can't wait to look down from Heaven...well, probably more like UP from Hell...but whatever the case, and see you 2 sportin skin.


  10. I happen to love skin trousers. Better than the skin flute, even!

  11. If they are made of human skin, I hope they use skin from a variety of ethnic backgrounds and varying skin pigmentations to still achieve that patchwork look. And hopefully not too much face skin, cause that would be drafty.

  12. kristina4:30 PM

    What do you mean? It specificaly says they are made from "an eclectic mishmash of fabrics and textures", so they can't possibly be made from 100% human skin, can they? Would you still return them if it's only 10%?

    Also, if they are "a wide comfortable cut", they should probably only come in sizes X-Large, XX-Large and OMG-Large... But maybe they couldn't find enough human skin to make the pants large enough for anyone but S, M and L's...

  13. Misfit, I SAID they were for my wife. As far as you know.

    SM, I think that was actually in there.

    Jen, you wouldn't believe the number of catalogs we get. It's ridiculous. If only Johnson Smith was still in business...

    KC, I think they mean doing the midnight tour of all the neighborhood pools. Although you'd probably want something more camo-ish.

    bitkit, usually it's pants like these that come apart at the seams.

    BAG, I was thinking used coffin linings and the worn out jumpsuits from the prison and the jiffy lube place.

    English, good point! I should have mine DNA tested to make sure they're not made from someone who got the chair. They could become supernaturally possessed and my wife could end up with a demon wedgie.

    ValGal, are those animals fighting in your pants or are you just glad to see me?

    V8, I'd have to see the tats first.

    Muskrat, "playing the skin trousers" doesn't have the same ring to it.

    Brian, rawhide is the answer.

    Kristina, if they just put it on the knees and the ass, you know for toughness and wearability, I would probably keep them.

  14. I'm old and my skin is tough and maybe making pants out of my skin when I am gone might be a good thing.

  15. material?

    Well, that's descriptive and specific!


    Guess its a good thing they aren't made of "immaterial"

  16. I once had a garment made of "100% unknown fibres"

  17. kristina1:35 PM

    Oh look! The BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN GUY has found your blog too!

  18. I've heard (material) is much better than "material"!

  19. if they're made out of skin you have to keep them, those are the collectors items for when the person who made them gets life in prison

  20. Ah yes, the infamous placeholder text until the real info is provided...seen that happen many a time in my life as a mktg/ad writer...

    Officially de-lurking to comment, and to say that your blog is hilarious. As a fellow child of the '70s, I'm hoping to read your book soon.

    (Shameless plug: Enter to win a prize pack from the new movie Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules! Contest ends March 25th.)

  21. FF, Look at you pimpin' your wares! :) Welcome, and let me know if you enjoy the book.