A Simple Flowchart.

About a year ago, I created this for the loud, annoying guy in a cube near mine who has no "inside voice." I had forgotten all about it until I was doing a search on my hard drive for a particular graphic file.

I figure I'm probably not the only one with a need for something like this, so I thought I'd share. I never actually used it, because I moved to a different cube to avoid going postal. Your mileage may vary. Don't get face-punched is all I'm saying.


  1. oooooh, just my style. thanks!

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHA! I DO need this! Downloaded and saved! I was unceremoniously moved back to Cubicle City a month or so ago, and I miss the quiet of my former 7x7 foot box.

    Oh, and I actually got my 84 year old father to read a book on a laptop...YOUR book...he chuckled all the way through!

    Peace <3

  3. Unfortunately it's usually me that gets the sign. love

  4. Nice. I can definitely use this.

  5. Hmmmm...I could almost surely get in trouble if I print that one out...

    Your book arrived yesterday, I promise to ignore all typos as requested.

  6. Oh yes.. I definitely can use this.. There is a lady that sits the row over who is so loud she even can infiltrate my ipod music.. Her poor husband...

  7. ArizonaDi12:01 PM

    I have a call center outside my door - am so tempted to whip out your sign ;)

    I LOVE love love your book! I laughed out loud at your comments on your drawings and your retaliation for the ruined fort had me on the floor. Excellent writing, Mr. Virgil!

  8. Jay, now I'm corrupting old folks as well as youth. Great.

    Rick, I'm fixing them now. Let me know what you think.

    Lynne, this guy was like that. How he can punch through ear buds blasting rock music is beyond my comprehension.

    Arizona, you're making me blush. But don't let that stop you from telling everyone you know and leaving me a review on amazon! Thanks!

  9. I need a kid version of this.

  10. I am in my cube, listening to the chickie babes down the way laughing like loons. SO need to use this, but they tend to be the Sisty Uglers, (Jack Ross' story about Cinderella who lived in a big hark douse with her mean old mep-stother and her two sisty uglers) who will make life unbearable if they are crossed...

  11. Anonymous6:29 PM

    I'm with Lorraine, unfortunately I think *Others* would like to be aiming your sign at moi...I'm not in a cube, though, it's the building lobby, and I just get carried away sometimes whilst on personal calls. Comes from having a mother who always interrupted so you just had to GET LOUDER than her if you wanted to get a word in.

  12. Picked up my copy at the P.O. today. I hurt my ribs last night and even the introduction was too painful to read. Do you know how fucking much rib work it takes to laugh??? Thanks a lot. I have to figure out how I hurt my ribs - alone in a bed and wake up disabled from laughing.

  13. Thanks Lorraine! If you like it, please spread the word and leave a review on Amazon if you get a chance. I appreciate it!

  14. kristina4:59 PM

    I have several magnets on my desk that I point to at appropriate moments:

    /* no comment */
    I void warranties
    Suck It Up, Princess!

    Heh heh...

  15. I like that last one!

  16. Anonymous7:31 PM

    For years, I sat catacorner from the worst human being ever. I sure wish I'd thought of this back then. Asshat, wherever you are, if you can hear my thoughts, then STFU!!!