I'm a lazy piece.

Right now, even as I type, my Killbot (to which I have given the completely awesome and totally original name of "Killbot") is hard at work cleaning my floors.

I'm still waiting for Professor Wernstrom to send me the bottom half (which includes the machine gun and Lotus Notes add-ons), but even so, I have to say that the floors in my house have never been cleaner.

www.irobot.com is offering a 30 day money-back trial on these things, including reimbursement of shipping charges in both directions. Seriously, how could I go wrong? I would get to mess around with a new geek-gadget, terrorize the cats and keep the floor clean all at the same time.

The problem with having pets and working a full time job is simply this -- when you are at work slaving away, they are sitting at home. What are they doing, you ask? Well, they are doing what they do best, which is eating, sleeping, and losing fur at an alarming rate. Since we have no carpet in the house and also have leather furniture, an amazing amount of that fur ends up on the hardwood floor. You can clean it every day, and every day their follicles reject another massive quantity of it.

Killbot does a great job of cleaning it up. Much better than I would have anticipated, actually. I ordered the cheap one -- they have a more expensive one that has a charging/docking station, and when the battery is weak, it will find its way home for a recharge. They have an even more expensive one with a scheduler, so you can tell it to start cleaning while you're at work so you don't have to listen to it. I'm a little leery of that one because while I don't know exactly what would happen if my Killbot ran over fresh cat puke, I have a pretty good idea that it wouldn't be good for anyone.

We generally run it when we leave the house or when we're outside, since it's pretty loud. Sometimes I run it when I get home from work. Eventually, you almost get used to the loud noises and the way it randomly bangs into stuff before it staggers off in a different direction and then eventually gets stuck in the bathroom. I find it strangely comforting. For some reason, it reminds me of college.

Sadly, today is my last day of evaluation and Killbot is packaged up and on his way back to the iRobot factory. While adept at cleaning floors, it turns out that he sucks big at disarming IEDs, surplus military ordnance, land mines and other incendiary devices. I think I am in luck, however, because iRobot also makes these:

I might try this one for 30 days too. If this hardcore mofo also vaccuums the floor, I am totally keeping it. It has a claw, a video stalk, and apparently, (and most importantly) it can project your face on its little video screen.

If this eval doesn't pan out, who knows. I might have a line on a used Spider Slayer Mark II, so we'll see what happens.