@ Pamela: a COPIER accident? Now that is just not very manly. Johnny's accident is MUCH sexier. Oh, wait - I was thinking it was woodworking, when it was actually his treadmill. Never mind. x.x
JV, that is a funny card.
P.S. Word verification: "fatessed." WTF, Johnny... if your blog is gonna insult me, I'm going away for good. (For the record, this is spectacularly inappropriate. I actually NEED junk in my trunk. So there, Blogger!)
And speaking of unmanly accidents, I am driven to share this anecdote. You will think me the meanest person on earth, but I just can't help it - there's just too much to work with.
There's this guy in my office who I always think of as the Ultimate Blind Date Nightmare. He is a walking cliche of every unacceptable-to-women trait that exists. Body odor? Check. Lives with mom? Check. Has an unsociable, nasty, not-housetrained cat? Check. Seriously overweight? Shaves once a week? Greasy, uncut hair? Check, check and check. You get the picture. (Lest you be wondering how he remains employed, his cube neighbors have done plenty of complaining. He must be some kind of brilliant programmer - and please don't tell me you're surprised that's what he does - because he's still around.)
One day this unfortunate person was limping more than usual (he never walks fast, esp. for a late-twenty-something). I inquired as to what was wrong, and was told an old knee injury was bothering him. Not being able to envision ANY kind of sports effort having caused this, I asked what he'd done (morbid curiousity). His reply? "Well, I tore ligaments on both sides of it, playing... (wait for it) MINIATURE GOLF."
W.T.F. Can you say DYING INSIDE of hysterical laughter? I arranged my face into some semblance of concern and told him I hoped it felt better soon. I mean, of ALL the things to do... only him.
(P.S. W.V. is much better this time, guess I'll stick around.)
Card cracks me up!!!! Awesome indeed.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm betting some thought went into it, and you know it's the thought that counts.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to have friends who understand. :)
ReplyDeleteAll that's missing is one of those gnarly fake rubber fingertips from Halloween.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
haha))) this card is fantastic)) can't stop laughing :-D
ReplyDeleteI had a work buddy that lost his fingertip in a copier accident, and made him this card. Obviously, I put too much thought into it!
ReplyDeleteYou're gonna miss your pet finger, that's for sure. Will there be a service?
ReplyDeleteHow thoughtful! Love it!
ReplyDelete@ Pamela: a COPIER accident? Now that is just not very manly. Johnny's accident is MUCH sexier. Oh, wait - I was thinking it was woodworking, when it was actually his treadmill. Never mind. x.x
ReplyDeleteJV, that is a funny card.
P.S. Word verification: "fatessed." WTF, Johnny... if your blog is gonna insult me, I'm going away for good. (For the record, this is spectacularly inappropriate. I actually NEED junk in my trunk. So there, Blogger!)
And speaking of unmanly accidents, I am driven to share this anecdote. You will think me the meanest person on earth, but I just can't help it - there's just too much to work with.
ReplyDeleteThere's this guy in my office who I always think of as the Ultimate Blind Date Nightmare. He is a walking cliche of every unacceptable-to-women trait that exists. Body odor? Check. Lives with mom? Check. Has an unsociable, nasty, not-housetrained cat? Check. Seriously overweight? Shaves once a week? Greasy, uncut hair? Check, check and check. You get the picture. (Lest you be wondering how he remains employed, his cube neighbors have done plenty of complaining. He must be some kind of brilliant programmer - and please don't tell me you're surprised that's what he does - because he's still around.)
One day this unfortunate person was limping more than usual (he never walks fast, esp. for a late-twenty-something). I inquired as to what was wrong, and was told an old knee injury was bothering him. Not being able to envision ANY kind of sports effort having caused this, I asked what he'd done (morbid curiousity). His reply? "Well, I tore ligaments on both sides of it, playing... (wait for it) MINIATURE GOLF."
W.T.F. Can you say DYING INSIDE of hysterical laughter? I arranged my face into some semblance of concern and told him I hoped it felt better soon. I mean, of ALL the things to do... only him.
(P.S. W.V. is much better this time, guess I'll stick around.)
Ha! Yes. You truly have some awesome friends.
ReplyDeleteJV, you do have special friends...
ReplyDelete@Lisa - Awesome!
@Pamela - Fantastic!
I want to know about the treadmill! Is it ok?
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome.
ReplyDelete