Witchypoo.

For reasons that escape me, I had an opportunity to google "witchypoo" not too long ago.

What I got was the following screen:

I immediately thought, What in the holy hell is that thing in the middle? At first I thought some madman had grafted breasts onto other breasts, or someone's penis enlargement surgery had gone horribly, horribly wrong. Or maybe it was a lump of discorporate flesh somehow being kept alive by eldritch means. None of these possibilities seemed out of the question, even after I zoomed in:

I linked back to the website that was generating such disturbing images and just tossing them up on the web for unsuspecting surfers to see, and found this. Now I want one.

Also, I am trying to convince my wife to make me one of these.

In other news, I was the asshole yesterday.

You know that guy in the car behind you who beeps at your stupid ass when the light turns green and you didn't notice the change because you're putting on your make-up or texting your bestie or dicking around with your ipod? That was me yesterday.

I'm sitting at a red light, second in line behind some girl in a Ford Escort, just blasting the tunes and trying to get to the post office before they closed. The light turns green and she just sits there. I wait about five seconds, then give her a polite little toot on horn. She doesn't move. I wait another five seconds then tap it again. Ten seconds later, there's still nothing but brake lights in my face. Finally, I lean on the horn a little, thinking I didn't get her attention the first time. She looks up into her rear view, and I raise my hands in the universal "What the Fuck, Lady?" gesture...

... just as the ambulance rushes through the intersection, lights and sirens blazing.

So if you're reading this, girl in the Escort, I'm sorry I was an inadvertent asshole.

In my defense, my music was pretty loud.