Today's news. And one more pic.

Where I work, we have a security requirement that all laptops being carried to and from the premises need to be completely turned off. No sleep mode, no hibernation -- it has to be stone cold. I guess that's the only way to engage the hard disk encryption, but it also means an inordinate amount of time is spent waiting for things to boot up and/or shut down. When I sit down at my desk in the morning, there's a period of almost 15 minutes where my computer is completely useless. That's because after it actually boots, I need to leave it alone for a bit so that it can do its daily updates and backups and tracking and whatever other raping and pillaging Radia has in mind for it that day. Usually the hard drive light is just on solid, and trying to do anything at all is an exercise in frustration. Sometimes I'll get lucky, and I'll be able to open a browser window.

While I'm waiting, I'll check voicemail and then sometimes I'll take a quick peek at the cnn.com home page to get an idea of how the day is looking. Today, it was looking like it kinda went off the rails.

In no particular order, here's what caught my eye:

First, a doctor was being sued for carving the name "Ingrid" on someone's uterus, like it was some kind of tree. At first when I read the article, I thought she was walking around with a branded uterus. My thoughts were as follows:

1. That's pretty cool.

2. At least he got the name right.

3. Maybe she has a point with this lawsuit thing.

And then I realized that it had already been removed when he tagged it. So really, why the fuss? It's not like he ground it up and sold it to the chinese as an aphrodisiac, or gave it to the cafeteria staff. I mean, I could see it being a problem if she planned to display it in a jar on her desk or something, and now it's just ruined, but other than that, who gives a shit? I think they just saw a way to supplement their retirement. This is the house on the beach that my uterus built.

Next, there was this story about some 29 year old semi-attractive chick (hard to tell from a mug shot) who stripped naked and stole a cab. First of all, someone please tell me why the hell this is news. Sure, it's mildly entertaining, but really, CNN? This is the top story in your "JUSTICE" section? Must be a *really* slow news day. Or maybe this is the start of an entirely different version of cash cab.

Also a hot story today, IHOP is suing some church called the "International House of Prayer" for trademark infringement, because obviously someone might confuse those two things. And God said, "Let there be light syrup" and it was so.

Lastly, there's this helpful story in the Heath section on what to do when body parts fall off.

My favorite part is this bit:

"If your eyeball becomes dislodged, don't try to put it back," Dankner warns.

Instead, they recommend getting to the hospital as fast as you can and "The doctor will push the eye back in and give you antibiotic ointment."

You've just driven to the hospital as fast as you can, like this:

And all you get is some antibiotic ointment.

What you should get is a fucking medal for not passing out, that's what you SHOULD get.

So that's a random sampling of today's news. It's clear that the 24-hour news cycle means the death of serious journalism. Either that, or CNN is just catering to idiots like me to boost their ratings.

Oh, and one more camping pic from last weekend:

This is a stitch of 4 separate shots, covering a 180-degree field of view. (click for larger image)

That's all I've got for today, so go out there and have some fun this weekend.

Remember, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's time to jump in the car and go get your ointment.*

*I'll bet you thought I was going to say, "Then it's just one game - Find the Eye."