I read through the stories again, and while there are many great entries, I'm going to have to say it's the mental image of the vomiting pinwheel girl rolling down the hill and the crazed dog following that actually made me laugh the most.
On the other hand, just the sheer brass balls of the dude who posted about the bus-stealing, riot gear-inducing Chinese drunk fest has wormed its way into my shriveled, black peach pit of a heart. If there hadn't been video proof, I think I would have thought the entire thing was made up. Master Waster, you also get style points for a well-written inner dialogue, although I think we've all had the same conversation with our inner voices on occasion. Usually, my inner voice is way drunker than yours, but still, good story. Also, props to Cory and his naked Cat in the Hat. My memories of Dr. Suess will never be the same.
So here's what I'm going to do -- the martini glasses go to the vomiting pinwheel, and the other entries I mentioned get a mystery prize of my choosing. So shoot me an e-mail with your name and address and I'll get them out in the next week or so. Congratulations, and I'm sorry. That apology is really for the consolation prize winners, because they'll probably end up with something weird and useless.
To everyone else, thanks for playing along. You guys are great!
Vomiting pinwheel girl gets props for not only telling that story, but for admitting her dog was eating her vomit. . . .
ReplyDeleteCongrats nasty lady.
ReplyDeleteI did enjoy reading all of the stories, in a cautionary-tale/train wreck sort of way. I also found out that while I was one of the few people who taunted machine gun toting soldiers, I am pretty boring.
ReplyDeleteWM, that is true. Disgusting, but true.
ReplyDeleteShieldmaiden, yes -- this was a good exercise in becoming a fan of moderation.
Ed, what? You've never rolled down a hill while getting your barf on? You can't call her nasty until we hear YOUR worst. And you never came back. :)
Mine was just too nice.
ReplyDeleteThat's the story of my life, really.
I'm just always too nice.
I can't even be nasty or mean or crazy when I'm drunk.
"Tell us your wildest drunk story, Travis! Were there felonies committed? Vomit raining from the heavens?"
Well, I played a video game...
The fact that I had to think back, almost like flipping through a Rolodex of alcohol-related stupidity, to determine what might be my shining moment made me stop and give thanks and praise that I emerged from that phase of life relatively unscathed (other than the scar on my chin) with all my body parts intact and no pesky police records (that couldn't be expunged).
ReplyDeleteGood crap, that's the best ending to a drinking story EVER. EVER.
ReplyDeleteI don't even feel like I'm in the same league as that.
I figured you would like this article. It relates back to the Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus post.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.wired.com/magazine/2009/12/ff_the_asylum/
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ReplyDeleteanonymous douchebag posting spam to my comments - stop it.
ReplyDeleteJV I am so sad that I didn't keep on top of your blog and missed this contest! I couldn't have beaten the winners but reading all the posts reminded me of the time a friend of mine and I (who are from back east but live in LA) flew to DC together for Christmas holidays. We met up with a bunch of people in VA for a champagne brunch, drank way too many bottles of crap champagne, threw up in the restaurant bathroom - me in a stall, her in a trashcan (did I mention her 8 year old daughter was with us?) then got taken to her sisters house where I proceeded to pass out under their Christmas tree. I woke up, needed to puke so I crawled down the hhallway where I met up with the cat and dragged him into the bathroom to watch me puke my guts out. Eventually my friend called her dad to pick us up and they dropped me off at the metro station where the mole people live (Crystal City Underground) because he didn't want me in the house. I passed out on the Yellow Line which luckily at the time (the 80's) only went to the main metro terminal. When I woke up the train was stopped, no one was around and the conductor was walking down the aisle to wake me up. I finally made it back to the metro stop near my brother's house, made him pick me up, passed out for a few more hours and then went out again!! I was a little trooper back then!
ReplyDeleteHey and thanks for the review of the megashark v giant octopus movie - I almost peed laughing at that one!