War Pigs

Take a look at this.



Study it closely, because there's going to be a test. There are no incorrect answers. Basically, I'm looking for an answer from you guys, because nothing I can come up with explains this.

Let's go over a few things.

First, let's look at the product name: MURA: Military Pigs

That name seems to tie in nicely with the graphic, if those melon-headed, teardrop-eyed, rosy-cheeked little nightmare creatures can be considered pigs. They are clearly military somethings. One only needs to observe the bazooka-like weapon, the GI helmets and the gear belts in order to come to this conclusion.

Counter-balancing that, however, is (1) The complete lack of both clothes and genitalia, (2) The fact they they appear to be effortlessly standing on their hind legs, and (3) The fact that it appears to be snowing out. Not that it's entirely out of the question for extremely coordinated Military Pigs to conduct naked warfare in the snow -- but still.

So.

What would you expect to be inside this package? Ammunition? Bazooka operating instructions? Bacon-flavored pork-jerky?

Well, I can tell you that it's none of the above. What is inside happens to be exactly this:

Lightly scented facial tissues.

So here's your test. It's entirely essay based (I know, you guys hate that, but no multiple-choice for finals - only midterms), and you can place your answers in my comments section. The person who receives the highest grade will get a prize.

Question One: Pigs, while generally naked, do not normally engage in warfare with hand-held weapons, or, in fact, any weapons. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure they rarely engage in warfare at all. In 50 words or less, explain what these pigs are fighting for.

Question Two: In 50 words or less, give me your best explanation as to how these pigs lost all their clothes, but managed to hang on to their helmets and belts.

Question Three: In 50 words or less, Explain what was going through the mind of the package designer when he/she/it decided that a good graphic for a small package of Kleenex would consist of naked, bi-pedal pigs holding a bazooka.

OK, pick up your pencils and begin.