tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post1535876126348307677..comments2024-01-09T13:55:46.379-05:00Comments on 15 Minute Lunch: Do you like boxes of shit in your house? Get a cat.Johnny Virgilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07914217086250206369noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-88896262804254678692011-02-12T22:35:23.710-05:002011-02-12T22:35:23.710-05:00Anon, you make a lot of good points. Pets in gene...Anon, you make a lot of good points. Pets in general are pretty disgusting when you think about it.Johnny Virgilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07914217086250206369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-42809304741091176242011-02-12T22:10:03.240-05:002011-02-12T22:10:03.240-05:00Not being a cat person at all, I thought I'd g...Not being a cat person at all, I thought I'd grow to like one if I had it from a tiny kitten. So I paid $450 for one and gave it to my husband for his birthday, since he really likes them. I know now that after this guy dies of old age, there will NEVER be another cat here. I HATE the box of shit. It can be scrubbed after every use and I will still smell it. It's probably just in my head, but I swear I can always smell cat crap. I hate cleaning it and dry heave every day while doing it. I don't think I'll ever get used to it. Also, cats like to get up on things, which is disgusting. I mean, they were just walking in a box of shit! And then walking on a counter! And for those that don't have litterboxes because their cats go outside, cats that go outside are INFESTED with parasites that they do shed out their asses onto beds, tables, wherever they sit. They eat mice and birds that are infested, so the only way to be sure your cat is parasite-free would be to de-worm it every day, which would kill the cat, or just not let it outside. People say, "Oh my cat doesn't go on the counters," but they just don't SEE them go up there. Cats do it because they can, and their hearing is good enough that they are unlikely to get caught. Mine is in his kennel any time I'm not present, like nighttime, or outside doing chores, etc. I just can't risk it! I dislike the litterbox and sneakiness of cats enough to never get another one!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-32400164395428786362011-02-11T00:26:21.610-05:002011-02-11T00:26:21.610-05:00I realize I'm late to the party here, but firs...I realize I'm late to the party here, but first let me say that getting punk'd by your cat is totally AWESOME! My husband won't let me get one and now I know why. If you're still undecided about what to read at the book reading I would recommend The Second Time (the picture of Doug as he approaches the Instrument of Death is priceless). And (if only they gave you a projector) The Artist Formerly Known As is (for me) one of the funniest parts of the book! Good luck!!!Jen Mitchellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10900261769824561993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-21503137403863962052011-02-09T16:26:53.430-05:002011-02-09T16:26:53.430-05:00my upstate is about 2 hours south of Plattsburgh. ...my upstate is about 2 hours south of Plattsburgh. Near lake georgeJohnny Virgilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07914217086250206369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-77252412615012802942011-02-09T06:05:41.548-05:002011-02-09T06:05:41.548-05:00The question had to do with some actress in the mo...The question had to do with some actress in the movie and another role she played.. which is surprising because it sounds like they'd be all D list movie stars. <br /><br />I'd come to a bookstore reading of yours but I guarantee your version of upstate, NY and mine is different. I literally live an hour from Canada. Well, I am a few hours away right now but within 2 weeks I'll be back to being neighbors with Fort Drum. Like, hearing their bugle in the morning neighbors...<br /><br />For some reason 90% of NY'ers think they're upstate.. eh, I don't think so. <br /><br />I vote for your damn JC Penny suit story with your mom. I don't think I've laughed so hard in at least 5 years, that story is classic.EricaMhttp://flickr.com/photos/ericamorgannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-61840578345148123112011-02-08T19:47:52.077-05:002011-02-08T19:47:52.077-05:00Thanks for the story suggestions, everyone. I'...Thanks for the story suggestions, everyone. I'm leaning towards doing the bookstore thing. I'll do you all a favor and not record it. Erica, what was the question?<br /><br />Rider, I'm not down with that. I don't want to be running for the bathroom and find out the cat's in there reading cat weekly or something.Johnny Virgilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07914217086250206369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-45275113063567330312011-02-08T19:36:57.644-05:002011-02-08T19:36:57.644-05:00OH my Gosh. Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus just show...OH my Gosh. Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus just showed up in a Jeopardy question. Hah.EricaMhttp://flickr.com/photos/ericamorgannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-16979171830830171422011-02-08T18:41:27.245-05:002011-02-08T18:41:27.245-05:00By the way, I am *not* a cat person, but if I had ...By the way, I am *not* a cat person, but if I had to have one it would be a Siamese. Seems like they have the best personalities. JV, I like your litter box solution. An alternative would be toilet training - I know two people whose kitties do their thing on the actual john!RiderWriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05679157278313699794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-63814045411691776662011-02-08T18:38:59.886-05:002011-02-08T18:38:59.886-05:00@TravelingMom,
OMG - you NAILED it. This blog and...@TravelingMom,<br /><br />OMG - you NAILED it. This blog and DYAC are good for a change of underwear! I have to seriously limit my DYAC viewing, as I'm prone to staying up way too late and scaring the dog with bursts of hysterical laughter. JV's stories have had the same effect...and they're (slightly) safer for reading to the kids! :-)RiderWriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05679157278313699794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-45301408395362823702011-02-07T19:31:36.186-05:002011-02-07T19:31:36.186-05:00For the reading, you HAVE to do either a Mom story...For the reading, you HAVE to do either a Mom story (e.g., the speed bump one always cracks me up...and I'm up to the animal park one which made me almost pee my pants last time I read it), or a Markie/Snitch story like bending trees.<br /><br />I don't often LOL at movies, stories, TV shows, etc. Damnyouautocorrect.com does it to me as does your blog. I definitely think you need to do a reading.TravelingMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11970106059369832748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-17233543294124583902011-02-07T16:38:36.924-05:002011-02-07T16:38:36.924-05:00We have a Siamese too, looks very similar to the p...We have a Siamese too, looks very similar to the pic you posted. HIs name is Earl, and he's a rescue cat. IF anything, cats are great fun to mess with. ;o)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-11321351736936608322011-02-07T16:09:46.809-05:002011-02-07T16:09:46.809-05:00cla, keep an eye on her. That's all I'm sa...cla, keep an eye on her. That's all I'm saying.Johnny Virgilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07914217086250206369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-39885371411089436312011-02-07T08:55:59.256-05:002011-02-07T08:55:59.256-05:00OMG! I feel your pain. We have 4 cats. (I swear,...OMG! I feel your pain. We have 4 cats. (I swear, we started out normal people. . . ) anyway, my 5 y/o daughter wants a kitten. As 4 cats is already too many, I tell her no. She says "What if one dies? Can I get a kitten?" <br /><br />I said "Maybe"<br /><br />So now, every few weeks, she asks me which one is going to die first so she can get her kitten!cla517https://www.blogger.com/profile/14825038094929045322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-32433028090246420662011-02-06T16:56:11.261-05:002011-02-06T16:56:11.261-05:00@Adam...back in the day when everyone used to walk...@Adam...back in the day when everyone used to walk their dogs in Central Park (before the pooper scooper laws) the sidewalks of said park was full of landmines....dog shit landmines. The smell was horrendous. I remember it vividly even now, which is why I have a cat. The smell of dog turds is enough to make me vomit. Not even cat shit comes close. At least they cover theirs, dogs leave it out in the open for everyone to see, and for other dogs to munch on...Katleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16349020685336580947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-86274751030701433132011-02-06T16:47:10.865-05:002011-02-06T16:47:10.865-05:00Cats are the perfect pet. I want one. To bad Im al...Cats are the perfect pet. I want one. To bad Im allergic.Belle Armedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10633359048554914264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-70161590396149710532011-02-06T16:17:05.937-05:002011-02-06T16:17:05.937-05:00I used to like cats. No more. Not after being atta...I used to like cats. No more. Not after being attacked twice within 10 minutes one night by my rescued kitten. It was the ER two days later, thank you very much.<br />Peace <3<br />JayAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-91440999275049435352011-02-06T14:04:18.134-05:002011-02-06T14:04:18.134-05:00Johnny - I vote "Stench, Flies and Animal Cra...Johnny - I vote "Stench, Flies and Animal Crackers" and/or the story about shopping for your suit and dismantling the mannequin. They make me laugh even after multiple reads. <br /><br />P.S. You were punk'd!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-23567652514856712532011-02-06T11:57:23.108-05:002011-02-06T11:57:23.108-05:00Ha, Adam, good point. But you'd be amazed at t...Ha, Adam, good point. But you'd be amazed at the lengths I go to in order to avoid the stink. I actually built a negative pressure room in the basement that vents to the outside just for the litter boxes. My wife scoops them every day. That was part of the deal.Johnny Virgilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07914217086250206369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-29752539155371697612011-02-06T11:28:14.704-05:002011-02-06T11:28:14.704-05:00You don't like the smells of NYC, but you'...You don't like the smells of NYC, but you're willing to put up with cat crap - literally and figuratively. :)AdamWhttp://www.collegehockeynews.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-49388870920075971202011-02-05T22:47:22.373-05:002011-02-05T22:47:22.373-05:00this was hysterical. I can definitely relate to t...this was hysterical. I can definitely relate to the box full of shit and the wakeup call of my cat throwing up hairballs. They make the most godawful sound when they barf.Katleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16349020685336580947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-81489144082683803262011-02-05T20:03:10.574-05:002011-02-05T20:03:10.574-05:00Definitely do the reading! I laughed until I cried...Definitely do the reading! I laughed until I cried reading about the fish your brother electrocuted.<br /><br />From a woman who accidentally poisoned her own cat, only to have it live and as some weird result of the poisoning, have to eat 5 times its weight in cat food every day, yes, you were punk'd by your cat.Fish Out of Waterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15483391844212535708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-67481607277960809892011-02-05T19:03:32.030-05:002011-02-05T19:03:32.030-05:00I agree. The cat totally fooled you, but it's ...I agree. The cat totally fooled you, but it's better that it didn't die. How likely is it that, after making a comment about which cat to kill, your wife would believe the cat simply "fell over"?Badass Geekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01030944236271663794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-16926248840650954972011-02-05T16:05:27.645-05:002011-02-05T16:05:27.645-05:00Just remember, when you are reading for an audienc...Just remember, when you are reading for an audience you can not read too slow. The slower the better. <br /><br />If you're too nervous to read slow, pass out copies of the stories to audience members so they can at least follow along with you.<br /><br />T.YourFireAnthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03428838843235292696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-56758295061423155832011-02-05T15:48:44.137-05:002011-02-05T15:48:44.137-05:00He said I have about 10-15 minutes...so I can prob...He said I have about 10-15 minutes...so I can probably muddle through a few. And when I'm nervous, I talk fast so I could probably read half the book in the allotted timeJohnny Virgilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07914217086250206369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-12092726265733105372011-02-05T15:31:46.383-05:002011-02-05T15:31:46.383-05:00Read more than one if you have the time. "My ...Read more than one if you have the time. "My First Suit" is a great one and features Mom, so that's my vote!Semkyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17458231060419865219noreply@blogger.com