tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post113210681717571520..comments2024-01-09T13:55:46.379-05:00Comments on 15 Minute Lunch: Decisions, DecisionsJohnny Virgilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07914217086250206369noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-51379409208446931822011-07-14T03:03:10.085-04:002011-07-14T03:03:10.085-04:00This reminds me of the time that I went to Walmart...This reminds me of the time that I went to Walmart to get some sleeping medication -- and no, I couldn't wake it up. The medication gets cranky when I do that!<br /><br />The light just before Walmart is always red when there's no traffic. I made sure nobody was coming, and I bolted for Walmart on my bike. The next thing you know, there's a siren and lights. The cop pulls me over, asking if I know why he pulled me over. Of course I know; he's an idiot. He then goes on a spiel about not wanting to see my brain splattered all over the road, and went on his merry way.<br /><br />So now I'm off the hook, and can go to Walmart. At least, I thought I was, until he turned around and stopped me AGAIN. This time, he asked what I was up to at 2 AM. I told him about the medication. He then asked me if I was on any illicit drugs. Clearly, I'm a criminal mastermind, considering that all I wanted to do was get some sleeping medication. I told him that I wasn't, and pre-emptively volunteered for a drug test. He told me he never heard that one before, said to be careful, and FINALLY left me alone.<br /><br />Cops are crazy. Hell, I was walking down the road with my umbrella, and was pulled over because the officer thought I was carrying a rifle!<br /><br />I've moved since, and the cops don't mind me here at all -- although I'm usually sporting a trench, and am out walking somewhere between 12-6 AM. That should tell you how safe the neighborhood would be if there really were any suspicious people.<br /><br />Anyway, this was a nice read. Gotta love those teenage punks.Christopherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02457603560577658264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-1133209855148467402005-11-28T15:30:00.000-05:002005-11-28T15:30:00.000-05:00JV, I have had to learn to control my "angry drivi...JV, I have had to learn to control my "angry driving" since I work for a huge corporation and inevitably end up flipping off someone who works here too…makes meeting kind of awkward. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-1132851434961507322005-11-24T11:57:00.000-05:002005-11-24T11:57:00.000-05:00I am faced with the same decision all the time, an...I am faced with the same decision all the time, and it is a big deal to me. I would have chosen poser-boy too. <BR/><BR/>Left on red lights before 6 is alright in my book. As long as you can see oncoming traffic pretty far out.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01573900907169057680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-1132201143706088082005-11-16T23:19:00.000-05:002005-11-16T23:19:00.000-05:00As fitch said, you're an incredible story teller, ...As fitch said, you're an incredible story teller, JV.Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11125105079993772020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-1132188558329125712005-11-16T19:49:00.000-05:002005-11-16T19:49:00.000-05:00I agree wholeheartedly with the left on red before...I agree wholeheartedly with the left on red before 6am. I plan to run for mayor of my small town on that very platform. Stupid red lightards!Isaac Carmichaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17402890244648619420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-1132184425320636032005-11-16T18:40:00.000-05:002005-11-16T18:40:00.000-05:00Nes. You brought a tear to my eye. Masterful. I bo...Nes. You brought a tear to my eye. Masterful. I bow to your innate grasp of traffic signal dynamics.Johnny Virgilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07914217086250206369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-1132176144128062382005-11-16T16:22:00.000-05:002005-11-16T16:22:00.000-05:00Traffic control implies TRAFFIC, ie, a car other t...Traffic control implies TRAFFIC, ie, a car other than mine that I need to beat, um, coexist with. <BR/><BR/>If I don't see anybody coming I have no problem turning left at a red light. THERE'S NO ONE THERE.<BR/><BR/>What makes me laugh hysterically is the guy who whips across 3 lanes and cuts me and about 12 other people off, on the highway home. Inevitably 5 minutes later when the highway turns into a boulevard with a series of stoplights, I'm along side of him at a red light honking my horn and waving "hi, there!!!" Which, with the proper big grin, means "Got real far, didn't ya? You moron."<BR/><BR/>I don't really honk and wave (I want to LIVE!) but it's SO tempting.Carlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08999713273557139773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-1132164212859320262005-11-16T13:03:00.000-05:002005-11-16T13:03:00.000-05:00stop making me pee in my pants!p.s. i chose the lo...stop making me pee in my pants!<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>p.s. i chose the logger, but i need help appling traffic signal physics to grocery checkout line physics. i always end up in the slowest lane.mckayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11104054006183829611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-1132155967815324502005-11-16T10:46:00.000-05:002005-11-16T10:46:00.000-05:00Joh(Nny), discovering a link to your blog one afte...Joh(Nny), discovering a link to your blog one afternoon while trawling through the Dilbert Blog I was, in a word, transported. I haven't laughed that hard since the republican convention in New York. Some day I shall have to invite you and your lovely wife to visit my husband and I in this, the land of jug handles and maniacal bus-drivers. I make a mean salad, although seizures are optional.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-1132153064351524562005-11-16T09:57:00.000-05:002005-11-16T09:57:00.000-05:00I had the inverse experience this morning. When I...I had the inverse experience this morning. When I pulled up it was a garbage truck, and a school bus. It was clear that this, too, could go either way. Both are inherently pokey vehicles. The school bus was in the left hand lane, but because this is New Jersey we're talking about, all the turns come off the right hand side of the road. Even the ones where you are turning left. In New Jersey, this evidently makes sense to SOMEone. The point is, the school bus was going to have to get over the right sooner or later, and the garbage truck was gonna want to make sure it was later, so he didn't get stuck behind a slow-ass, stopping-at-every-traintrack-and-hump-in-road yellow snail with screaming goblin children pressing their faces up against the rear windows, mocking his inability to perform his garbage route at maximum efficiency. On the other hand, if the school bus was being driven by the kind of bus driver I remember from MY youth, there was no way some garbage-toting, over-all wearing, dixie-whistling cowboy was going to get off the line faster than that bus. And of course if the bus got off the line faster, it would move over, leaving the field clear for my glorious victory. I chose the bus. And this morning...I won. It was beautiful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-1132147990667872772005-11-16T08:33:00.000-05:002005-11-16T08:33:00.000-05:00Ricers are always funny. My friend Dave and I just...Ricers are always funny. My friend Dave and I just recently had a debate about the red-light-dilemma, and also called people who bow to their infinte power sheep.<BR/><BR/>Great minds think alike!Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11125105079993772020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-1132108398661859082005-11-15T21:33:00.000-05:002005-11-15T21:33:00.000-05:00I am consistently blown away by how good you are a...I am consistently blown away by how good you are at telling stories. You nailed it on the lawnmower sounding engine. I hate that. I live on a busy road, and those idiotic crap heaps bother me way more than the noisy tractor trailers when they go by.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com