Just call me Janie Virgil.

It's getting warmer out, and pretty soon I won't be able to wear a jacket every day.

Why is this a problem, you ask?

Well, I got home from work on Friday, and as I was hanging up my jacket, I noticed it was getting pretty damn heavy. I cleaned out the pockets, and realized that I may have to turn gay next month, because apparently I am in desperate need of a man bag.

The inventory consisted of:

iTrip transmitter
mini-mag flashlight
ballpoint pen
$1.15 in loose change
$4.00 in singles
pocket knife
cell phone
4 sheet rock screws
drill bit
screwdriver bit
single .223 round
pack of Orbit gum
2 receipts from Lowes
3 ATM receipts
car keys

I think it must have weighed about 50 pounds. So it's looking like either a man bag or a utility belt and summer-weight mask and cape. Or maybe I should just start carrying a suitcase.


  1. no shame in a man bag.

    if it makes you feel better, get a laptop bag, even if you don't own a laptop. then everyone will just think you've got a fancy laptop, when really your bag is full of important manly things, like your ipod and lipstick YOU WOMAN!

    heehee! ;)

  2. aww, don't pick on him, evilchick. you're gonna make him cry.

    backpacks work, too. coach makes a real pretty one.

  3. Yeah, you both can laugh, but you probably have purses you haven't seen the bottom of in about 3 years. If you're anything like my wife, you could have small animals in there and you wouldn't know it.

  4. Utility belt all the way.

    You can just explain that the superhero suit is in the superhero dry cleaners.

    At least that's what I'd say.

  5. Anonymous9:17 PM

    The I was going to say that the live round would keep the whole bag thing from being gay. But then I realized it was a .223.

    Real men don't use long guns smaller than 7.62 mm. We might give you dispensation for a .270.

  6. Dammit! I knew I should have gone for the AK.

  7. JV, and your little accusatory purse rant makes you more masculine ...how?

    p.s. i clean my purse out every week. i know, i'm weird ;-)

  8. I think my purse is giving me back problems it's so heavy. Sounds like you could get away with something smaller. Might I suggest this.

  9. Anonymous9:40 AM

    You can always save yourself by substituting a .45 round.

    You do have a .45, don't you?

  10. no dammit. NY CC laws suck it.

  11. thanks sarah. That's very nice and will go well with my cape.

  12. Carrying a bag won't make you gay; using to carry around one of those foofy ankle-biter dogs makes you gay.

    Oh yeah, you just can't go wrong with Coach.

  13. Anonymous8:43 AM

    everything that doesn't fit in that 50lb coat is in the laundry. Never know what you'll find.