tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post967865909273606777..comments2024-01-09T13:55:46.379-05:00Comments on 15 Minute Lunch: Once they get a taste of blood, you have to put them down.Johnny Virgilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07914217086250206369noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-86360834134142993972011-09-18T21:49:13.698-04:002011-09-18T21:49:13.698-04:00I knew there was a reason I don't do treadmill...I knew there was a reason I don't do treadmills.<br /><br />Damn, that was funny...and a bit nauseating.Jerry in Texashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156795615903611248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-59266417111847630162011-08-30T18:46:17.776-04:002011-08-30T18:46:17.776-04:00The best safty poster I ever saw was at an AF base...The best safty poster I ever saw was at an AF base I used to work at. It was very simple. There was no type on it. It merely shown the man's hand, with the dead grey ring finger where it had been ripped off at the knukle, and his now masively malformed wedding ring lying NEXT to his hand on the table. A picture is worth a thousand words.Irisrainbowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06426038272882755085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-49776226439340243262011-08-24T13:42:48.018-04:002011-08-24T13:42:48.018-04:00Oh JV, I've missed your posts. In my own blog...Oh JV, I've missed your posts. In my own blogging MIA I've been terrible about reading yours. I'm so glad you've still got your sense of humor. Only you can describe an involuntary amputation in a comedic way.Fallonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10557420657084746548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-85366169776599553102011-08-13T23:17:32.552-04:002011-08-13T23:17:32.552-04:00wow that woulda been grosswow that woulda been grosstonyhttp://funny-email.net/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-64259117487119500402011-08-09T13:12:37.596-04:002011-08-09T13:12:37.596-04:00Ouch, JV--
Was this the same finger that you got ...Ouch, JV--<br /><br />Was this the same finger that you got stuck in the back end of your boat? Seems to me on that story I mentioned how I had gotten mine stuck in the gas tank of my Buick...<br /><br />Then there was this other occasion. On a drunken college night I leapfrogged over a post that, unbeknownst to me, had a single chain link welded to the top. My middle finger slipped through the link, and my digit almost didn't come with the rest of my body. Fortunately it turned out to be just a pretty good laceration and ugly scar.<br /><br />So happy healing on your close call, from a fellow finger trauma survivor.<br /><br />SteveAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-20514697099259338732011-08-08T19:05:11.312-04:002011-08-08T19:05:11.312-04:00P.s. after reading the story and the title again f...P.s. after reading the story and the title again for some reason I got the image of you standing over your exercise equipment with a shotgun ala Old Yellerjmohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16637550280402229667noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-19520781075104355832011-08-08T18:59:59.934-04:002011-08-08T18:59:59.934-04:00Am I the only one seeing a high correlation betwee...Am I the only one seeing a high correlation between the insecticide truck you used to chase (and breath deeply behind whilst it was dumping enough chemicals to kill every bug on an ENTIRE street!) and this twist of "fate"? Maybe just remembering those days activated the chemical in your brain! :-P<br /><br />Use as much vicoden as you need without becoming an after-school-special JV!!jmohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16637550280402229667noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-77012093753755305252011-08-07T04:32:10.685-04:002011-08-07T04:32:10.685-04:00Ouch! I'm still gritting my teeth from the emp...Ouch! I'm still gritting my teeth from the empathy pains. I know that must have hurt. Hope it heals soon.Leeunahttp://leeunafoster.com/humorblognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-41233214518295733182011-08-05T16:42:43.402-04:002011-08-05T16:42:43.402-04:00beware the bastard file. not the file you know is ...beware the bastard file. not the file you know is somewhere on your laptop, the file you use when woodworking (or maybe metal work?). the bastard file will be looking for you for leaving it off your list.<br /><br />proud owner of unsigned, The Snitch,et al, which i believe is actually about me, my brother, and my cousin. you have plagiarized my life. <br /><br />thanks for the many good reads.Scott rhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08390357852181558796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-87616577431282884202011-08-05T09:22:30.974-04:002011-08-05T09:22:30.974-04:00It took me three tries to get all the way through ...It took me three tries to get all the way through this. I kept getting that feeling in my chest that I never used to get when people talk about things getting amputated and flayed. Great writing. <br /><br />Also, I want to spend some time in your woodworking shop. Is that something that comes with every country house in upstate New York? Wait, did I miss the point of the story somehow? Oh, right. Don't exercise.Chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11458043604859768732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-56875053642803202702011-08-04T15:02:07.411-04:002011-08-04T15:02:07.411-04:00Well JV, I'm glad my cornflakes are a golden c...Well JV, I'm glad my cornflakes are a golden color as I was eating a bowl when I finally got to the FINGERNAIL picture at the bottom. Pretty sure that is the grossest thing I've ever seen on this blog and that counts the septic system story CSI Poopsmith ;)parkerlynnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00657024227805077563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-74914565031283849842011-08-04T11:42:32.485-04:002011-08-04T11:42:32.485-04:00just don't do this http://www.youtube.com/stev...just don't do this http://www.youtube.com/stevemcgranahan#p/u/15/dyWzk31p3lk or anything else thi guy does and I think its safe to say you'll make it out of this world with all your limbs. Hope you feel better soon though!Mystiyfulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04775938473452175391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-52226562042167887982011-08-04T01:41:13.490-04:002011-08-04T01:41:13.490-04:00It was the transport band on a lathe that got me, ...It was the transport band on a lathe that got me, one of the links was broken, and somehow my left index finger slipped inside and was ran though a bogey wheel, bled like a bastard. I got the hydrogen peroxide treatment too, as well as a chunk of skin cut out of my wrist to use as a graft, so not only is the finger tip funky looking with a real claw for a nail, but I also look like I have an unsuccessful suicide attempt behind me as well.Rick Thomsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15905849865193996698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-15328543399059356652011-08-04T00:32:54.954-04:002011-08-04T00:32:54.954-04:00That fake nail how-to article you linked was hyste...That fake nail how-to article you linked was hysterical. I had a bizarre freak-near-partial-finger-amputation thing happen a few months ago and have been wanting to blog about it, as sort of, I dunno, a cathartic thing? Do you feel you've exercised your demons, too?<br /><br />Re: your post title, I had the darnedest time keeping my two pit bulls from going mad with utter bloodlust when my frankenfinger was around.Heather Cherryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03315027717631291597noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-51922380947426168632011-08-03T20:18:36.120-04:002011-08-03T20:18:36.120-04:00Fuck dude, that's awful! Great writing though,...Fuck dude, that's awful! Great writing though, just please try not to sever anything else... it's way too hard to read without crossing the legs and making that shiver-twitch-convulse thing.<br /><br />VS.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-70532797489687086552011-08-03T18:58:13.809-04:002011-08-03T18:58:13.809-04:00Sweet...sorry...
30+ years ago, took all 4 finger...Sweet...sorry...<br /><br />30+ years ago, took all 4 fingers of my left hand to the bone with a bow saw (still can't get near one). Wrapped fingers up with strips off my shirt and hid it from my parents (afraid of stitches). Healed fine, cool scars. Yes, I have a high pain tolerance, fall asleep getting tattoos.whisper_the_windhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15409292112360405250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-27363184953926282902011-08-03T18:22:54.723-04:002011-08-03T18:22:54.723-04:00That reminds me of my oops moment last summer. I w...That reminds me of my oops moment last summer. I was carving a small keychain for my girlfriend, and I was shaving a chip of wood off when the knife slipped and sliced into my thumb up to the first knuckle. About a 1/4 of my thumb was hanging off to the side. Scary thing was, that knife was so sharp, I don't even think it knew my thumb was there. 7 stitches later and it only looks a little funny if you look at it right.<br /><br />When I was 18, I put my foot through a glass table top. I thought I was fine until my mom turned on the living room light and I noticed I could see into the side of my foot. <br /><br />Funny thing was, neither one of those hurt, which makes me come to the conclusion that the painless cuts are the worst ones.StuntDoublenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-64069418793736702502011-08-03T17:36:31.088-04:002011-08-03T17:36:31.088-04:00How did the chainsaw only go halfway through? Tha...How did the chainsaw only go halfway through? That's a longer story, Johnny. I was holding small logs in front of me in my left hand and using the saw (held in my right hand) to trim off protruding branches. I know at this point you're thinking "oh, jackhead here confused his finger with another branch." Nope...I had a pile of logs like this, and what I was doing was one of those sequences some of us invent when doing a repetitive task. When I finished, I would release the trigger (to stop the chain) and toss the log underhanded into the truck. In this case, for some reason my sequence fell apart. I didn't release the trigger until I started the toss and somehow the arc of my swing took my forefinger across the still spinning blade. Very happy to have just grazed the saw blade enough to cut a slot about 1cm deep. Good luck on the healing. For some reason I think fingers mend faster. Maybe a visceral self-preservation thing? <br /><br />I was told to put hydrogen peroxide on mine, too (if that makes you feel any better). Mine throbbed for a few days...maybe 4 or 5.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-58463559909807700372011-08-03T17:23:13.184-04:002011-08-03T17:23:13.184-04:00Finger injuries are the WORST. I myself have been ...Finger injuries are the WORST. I myself have been lucky in that department, but both of my parents made ER trips when I was a kid. My dad (also a woodworker) was on the other side of the basement, running his table saw, when I heard the motor power down and him calmly say, "Okay, time to go to the hospital." Just like that. I went flying in there expecting to find a severed digit on the floor, as he was holding up his hand, but it turned out he had merely run his index finger into the blade "the other way." So nothing was cut off but he had a nice trench in the end of his finger. That was stitched, and my usually stoic father spent a couple weeks drinking extra Black Labels every night. Hurt BAD.<br />My mother managed to run a seam ripper (small, sharp and extremely pointy thing used to remove stitches from garments) deep into a finger. She is the queen of "Oh, it will be fine" so attempted to ignore the injury, until about 3:00 AM that night when she woke up Dad and informed him that she needed the ER, stat. <br />Here's hoping I never have to find out what that feels like, and your poor digit heals up nicely. Plan on some numbness/nerve damage, which ought to dissipate over time.RiderWriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05679157278313699794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-29466588610137705512011-08-03T16:44:19.652-04:002011-08-03T16:44:19.652-04:00That working out s!@t is bad for you, I'm conv...That working out s!@t is bad for you, I'm convinced of it. At least I did my finger-wreckage at work, and on the non-dominant hand. Fingertip all gone now. Busy ED, so no one thought to give any pain med (and I didn't think to ask) until after the first of two sets of rads. I don't remember being thirsty though, and they gave me tylenol 3, so maybe it *is* the Vicodin.terri chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09398808840234914275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-37967668838993742602011-08-03T15:14:27.837-04:002011-08-03T15:14:27.837-04:00Mackerel, I actually do, but attributed it to the ...Mackerel, I actually do, but attributed it to the Vicodin.<br /><br />KC - I will beat this treadmill until it's my bitch.<br /><br />Robin, so far so good.<br /><br />Rick, what got you? A joiner?<br /><br />Theresa, I think he was going for this bit: The American Medical Association concluded that the effervescence of hydrogen peroxide might provide some mechanical benefit in loosening debris and necrotic tissue of the wound<br /><br />Ed. Dude. I bet you were relieved when you got your first car. <br /><br />Anon, a ChaINSAW? How did that go halfway through?<br /><br />Sweetpea, I've won that award many times.<br /><br />Kristina, to be fair, it's covered in grease and had been lying on the floor for 3 days, so it's not as bad as it looks. My fingernail area is just one big scab now and the stiches go right through it. Those should be fun to pull out...Johnny Virgilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07914217086250206369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-21030018999989670852011-08-03T14:23:49.592-04:002011-08-03T14:23:49.592-04:00That fingernail looks a bit funky anyway - did you...That fingernail looks a bit funky anyway - did you really need it? Hope you heal well and quickly.<br /><br />They have proven hydrogen peroxide actual impairs healing, so what decade is this guy from?<br /><br />A couple of years ago, a ceramic lamp came hurtling down from the shelf atop our computer desk and shattered into about 50 pieces on the keyboard, where my waiting open fingers were there to receive the razor-sharp shards. Thankfully, only one finger (left index) was sliced open down to the bone. With copious amounts of blood spurting and holding some gauze around that finger as tightly as possible, I got my man to drive me (along with our none-too-happy 6-month-old) to emergency at 10 pm.<br /><br />I didn't get Vicodin or freezing for the 9 stitches (bastards!), I had a new guy who kept asking the nurse questions, and apparently I held so tightly to staunch the bleeding I gave myself nerve-damage (at least that's what they tell me...).kristinanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-92135045345286022332011-08-03T12:57:16.761-04:002011-08-03T12:57:16.761-04:00A friend of mine has a term for this sort of thing...A friend of mine has a term for this sort of thing. It's called "the weekend dumbass award".<br />Hope you feel better!sweetpeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06729286759084892000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-82903113822447564482011-08-03T11:13:06.711-04:002011-08-03T11:13:06.711-04:00Sorry to hear this. I got clumsy with a chain saw...Sorry to hear this. I got clumsy with a chain saw and cut about halfway through my left index finger years ago. The most interesting thing was how long it took it to really start bleeding seriously and how long it took it to hurt. MUCH longer than when I slammed a safe door on one of my fingertips. That sucker hurt immediately. The second most interesting thing was looking at my finger bone and not passing out on the spot. Good luck on the recovery.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10155420.post-11313743215477329002011-08-03T11:01:59.458-04:002011-08-03T11:01:59.458-04:00Ouch Johnny! Where were your safety glasses? May...Ouch Johnny! Where were your safety glasses? Maybe you would have seen it coming and moved your finger.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com