Things that suck.

So here's something that sucks. Getting two giant needles jammed directly into your elbow. I am not a big fan of needles to begin with, and I thought I was only getting one, but no. The doctor said the first one was chock full of novacaine, and it was supposed to completely numb the area so that when the second syringe (of what was apparently liquid fire) was injected, I wouldn't feel it. I am here to tell you that my doctor is a fucking liar. An hour later, I still felt like I had a giant fishhook jammed into my elbow lighting up every nerve I owned. I squeezed the sides of the cot so hard I still have grey paint under my fingernails.

So you can imagine my pleasure at waking up this morning with my arm bent at what seems at this point to be a permanent 90-degree angle and an ache that goes from my pinky to my shoulder. Since it's my left arm, and I'm left handed, it makes it really hard to type, drive, shower properly, and play drums. Hopefully it will be feeling better soon, since that was really the whole idea behind getting the shot. If I wanted it to feel like this, I could have slammed it in my car door.

Something else that sucks: American Idol. It is fucking with my regularly scheduled programs, and I don't like it. I also don't like this arrogant black chick named Brenna Gethers who just sucked, and the judges went ahead and told her she sucked, and she decided to completely brush off their advice. She thinks she is a star already. I saw her sing one single song and I want to repeatedly smash her face with a shovel just to wipe that annoyingly permanent stage-right camera grin off her face. Plus, I am pretty sure she's a transvestite.

Also, you can add to the suck list any commercial that features "My Hump" by the Black Eyed Peas.

I do have to say one more thing. I watched my Tivo'd episode of 24 tonight and I wanted to kiss Curtis on the mouth, and I'm not even gay.

OK, I'm done. I can't type anymore because oddly, all the tendons in my fingers connect to the exact spot where I had two giant needles slammed into my arm.

Normally I don't do requests, but Sarah and Big Tool Scott are a damn fine tag team. So I am currently working on a post about the weirdest boss I ever had. He's dead now, and I have mixed feelings about that, but I stuck both the comedy and tragedy on a scale, and comedy won hands down, so there's that.


  1. Cortizone shot? I've gotten several of those. They claim that they will help, but I find that not to always be true. Sometimes precisely the opposite.

    I just got done watching Brenna sing (we taped it so that we could go watch The Pink Panther -yeah, I'm horrible, I actually taped it). She wasn't that great, but that Pickler chick REALLY SUCKED!!

  2. Anonymous6:26 AM

    I haven't been watching AI girls because I decided that all but one irritate me. I'll try and watch the guys tonight, though.

    I'm with you on "My Hump." It's on every station, even classical and country. Well it seems like it is.

    Sorry about your pain.

  3. >>>Also, you can add to the suck list any commercial that features "My Hump" by the Black Eyed Peas.<<<

    I'm not sure why, but This made me laugh out loud.

  4. Just keep thinking about the marsupial. The world deserves to know, JV.

    Also I don't watch AI until they are down to like 3 people because I can't stand listening to people who can't sing. It makes me violent.

  5. What you gon' do with all that junk?

    All that junk inside your trunk?

    Seriously JV...*think* about it.

  6. syl, you got it. I don't know one from the other, but Brenna sings like shit.

    AG - they suck too.

    DugE - any time I can do that I consider my work done.

    Sarah - it is a strange and terrible journey

    SD - I don't want to think about it.

  7. Sorry about your pain, JV. Feel better quickly.

    Regarding the commercial and song ... you're right. I've had it with that one.

    Regarding AI ... that Brenna bitch must be paying a lot of coin for people to be calling in votes for her nasty ass. She needs to go ... along with that pity-whore Pickler broad. Enough with the "thank ee" she does with that sappy ass smile. And what's up with telling the world that you're so flipping dense that you never saw a dog in a costume? What? NOBODY in NC ever stuck a dress on their fucking Schnauzer? I cannot take the stench of her psuedo-innocence anymore. She's a fake. A Carrie Underwood Wannabe if I ever saw one. And can she sing? Somewhat. So get on with your singing, sapwit, and cut it out with the southern belle small talk. What wingnut is keeping her in the contest anyway?

    Sorry about mincing words like that, but sometimes ya just hafta.

  8. I had a cortisone shot into my elbow. It ate my fucking elbow. I ended up with a huge hole in the flesh and muscle and nothing but skin over bone. That was in 1990 and it looks more or less normal now but the flesh still hasn't grown right back.

    Which makes me wonder whether full body cortisone shots could be a good alternative to liposuction.