I saw two of these on someone's lawn on the way home today.
Can somebody tell me why anyone would actually pay good money to have one of these on their lawn? Number one, it looks ridiculous. Unless you are Edward Scissorhands, or Dr. Seuss, or even (at a stretch) Willy Wonka, you have no business with one of these things anywhere near your house. There is nothing like this in nature, and there's a reason for that. The reason is that it's fucking stupid. Also, it's very embarrassing for the plant. That being said, my mother would have totally loved these things. We had bright yellow vinyl furniture growing up, if that tells you anything. On hot days, you would leave two layers of thigh skin behind if you got up too fast.
Anyway, if you do this to a plant, or support those who do, know that it is the moral equivalent of putting a doll's dress on your cat, or a santa suit on your long suffering dog. In fact, it goes without saying that anyone with one of these abominations on their lawn should not be allowed to have pets, or dare I say, offspring.
If this unholy spawning is allowed, you can, with almost complete certainty, guarantee that somewhere in the house there will be a picture of said offspring all dressed alike in some ridiculous outfit.
Case in point: The picture of me and my two brothers that hung in my parent's house for way too many years. I can tell you this -- You haven't lived until you've been dressed in matching red-white-and-blue american flag leisure suits, dragged to the Sears portrait studio in broad daylight, and forced to pose tallest to smallest, straddling some sort of draped fence rail, crotch to ass all the way down the line like some sort of twisted village people-meets-jackson-5 homo train.